Thursday, February 22, 2007

 

Date Update

A little while ago I 'outed' myself as trying out online dating. Progress has slowed somewhat. Current statistics:
So that's a few more. Unfortunately, while I've made a friend who isn't looking for a date [spoken for], the person who I had been emailing and was replying to my messages within a day or two has gone silent on me after my last message over a week ago, so I'm guessing that I've buggered things up for myself with a badly-worded email (I've done it before, and I'm sure I'll do it again) I've been informed this is not the case, she was just rather busy, and like me is beginning to lose patience with online dating in general. A slight improvement.
It seems on the whole that the women I'm most attracted to are those least likely to have a subscription, and thus are unable to reply. At least that's what I'm telling myself. Someone suggested the subscription was a way of keeping the riff raff out, which I can kind of understand, but isn't really helping me.

So, nothing to report. The local rag has a frontpage story about lucky vegetables - that's how exciting things are in my corner of the world.

Nothing for it, if I've got no news of misadventures, I'll share someone else's!

An acquaintance posted the following ad:
Hi girls,
I don't wanna be alone on Valentines Day. I doubt you do either. So if you're about my age, and are fun, intelligent, sweet and caring and want to spend Valentines on a friendly laid-back date then get emailing. A photo would be great, I'll send one back to you. ****** xXx :)

Awww, how sweet. Surely he can't fail!
The replies started to come in...
ello, i just read your add on gumtree, i just wanna say i do hope you find some one, which im sure you will. good luck. harry xxx

Ah. A bloke. Not quite what he had in mind, more harriet, less harry. Still, it'd been noticed...
hi boy, i read your ad and will love to make it up with you.i think i am confidential of myself .but there it just one thing. you pay my transport one way and i carter for the other.so if thats ok with you ,rply soonest

I don't think English is this correspondent's first language. And travel costs? Is a £1.50 bus ticket really beyond her means? Guess they won't be going Dutch on the meal...
Congratulations the My dear Friend!!!How in you business?My name Tanya.I have seen your structure on a site on the Internet and you have liked me, you became interesting to me.I live in Russia. I with the big impatience with impatience shall wait to receive news from you. I have photos and If you will write to me, that I necessarily I shall send you it. I as wait your photos!I feel, which you the good person and I should be It is enough to have such friend as you. I think, that you - fair, the clever and cheerful person, that which I searched.I hope, it has found real, pure love.I have found your structure, it is interesting to me, Also I want to know about you more!Write to me if you have interest of interest percent!Write to me, and ask any questions which are interesting to you about me.I hope to have pleasant acquaintance.I with the big impatience with impatience shall wait to receive news from you. Write to me. I wait your answer to mine e-mail.

Um, yeah. Again, a slightly shaky grip on English, but at least she's not asking him to pay for her train fare. Just as well as she's in Russia. Actually, that's a really long way to go for a date. Do you think she might have ulterior motives? She does like his structure though, which is odd as he doesn't work in construction. Unless she meant another word related to raising buildings. Can't think of the word right now, it'll come back to me.
Finally:
HELLO,
MY NAME IS SANDRA IN SEARCH OF A MAN WHO UNDERSTANDS THE MEANING OF LOVE AS TRUST AND FAITH IN EACH OTHER RATHER THAN ONE WHO SEES LOVE AS ONLY A WAY OF FUN BUT A MATURE MAN WITH NICE VISSION OF WHAT THE WORLD IS ALL ABOUT AND AFTER READING YOUR PROFILEin (******.******.com I TOOK INTEREST IN YOU SO REPLY TO ME WITH THE BOX. ( sandra***@yahoo.com)kissssssss

He's decided she may be the one, he's replied AND OFFERED TO FIX HER CAPS LOCK KEY FOR HER.

All names obscured to protect the innocent*
*Innocent until proven guilty
**Unless of course he reveals himself in the comments, but that's his own silly fault.


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Comments:
See! this post now needs updating, put your audience straight...you don't write weird emails!
 
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