Monday, July 31, 2006


An oddly quiet night and formal announcement

After all the trepidation yesterday over the possibility of a busy night at the under 18's shindig, it was an oddly quiet evening. Only came into contact with four of the little dears, and only treated one. We didn't even have a drunk vomiter, when we would normally expect three or more.
We were babysitting two young ladies who were suspected of being intoxicated by club security, but weren't, though we were regaled with a fascinating full account of a 14-year-old's turbulent love life, for example:
"And he said to my boyfriend that I done all this stuff with boys but I didn't 'cos I never do nuffin and now he's probably going to break up with me"
I also learnt a new word "lipsing" which I think is mouth-to-mouth kissing, or what when I was young we would have referred to as snogging. Language is an ever-changing beast.

So, no drunks, but the police were making all the boys go through a metal detector, which is a new addition, but I can't decide if this is a positive attempt to ensure safety or a worryng new development.

As to the announcement, a few weeks after I signed my permanent contract, I have now been formally announced as a permanent employee to all exchange users and all sites emails. I'm not sure how I feel about having my photo, cropped from last week's team photo, in the message as an inline attachment, as my grin was particularly large and my beard particularly untidy, but I can think of worse images that my colleagues have access to that they could have circulated widely. I think I've had a luck escape.

Anyway, I should get to bed, I've got the office to myself tomorrow, and need to get various things done, possibly including some early morning powerpoint optimisation work, and a big fat stack of data entry work. Joys.

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Sunday, July 30, 2006


Home Alone

I'm spending a very quiet Sunday @ home today whilst the rest of the family have gone out. No, I haven't finally fallen out with them irreconcilably (though that's a distinct possibility if I don't move out soon - I'll just put a foot wrong and overstep a line), but instead it's because I need to be at the always-classy local disco for the under-18's, which ranks as one of my favourite regular duties.
I think my favourite duty is probably the Hare Krishna's Janmashtami festival, which is coming up soon, so potential blog material there.
Anyhoo, I've occupied myself with doing as little as possible, apart from my big adventure for today, of trimming my beard. Well, when someone points out it's lopsided you shrug it off, but when two people mention it, they may have a point.
Having said that, one of them has also compared my appearance to James Blunt, despite my lack of dull singer-songwriter tendencies, and Mr Blunt's lack of beard. The upshot of all this is my facial hair is now a regimented 12mm on both sides, assuming I didn't miss any bits.

Other than these diversions, I've been busy annoying local high-ranking St. John officials with requests for information, trying to understand the data protection act, and supervising an incredibly efficient volunteer - when your unpaid help works rather faster than expected, you end up generating more work for yourself in the process of trying to keep them occupied, rather than easing your workload. Still, a lesson learnt, and I've loads of envelopes to stuff tomorrow, which should keep us both busy.

Until next time you stumble through my digital door having taken a wrong turning, Take care of yourselves... and don't trust men who wear hats indoors.

**Stop Press!**
I just did a spellcheck given some frankly awful typo's recently... and discovered Blogger's dictionary doesn't know the worf "blog". Bit of an oversight I feel.

Sunday, July 23, 2006



Once again I have been neglecting my blog. I wish i culd say this is because I've been having just too much fun in the real world. But sadly it's just 'cos I'm lazy.

So, yes, the staff party... I recollect drinking... everything. The 'punch', tequila, wine, blue bols, rum, lager. During the course of the evening a limbo competition took place... and later on wheelbarrow races and a game of grandmother's footsteps. This is what happens when you employ playworkers. Anyway, went home via Milton Keynes again, which is quite some distance from home, and then had to be back in work the following morning.

As for the flirting, there was a lovely young lady, daughter of an ex-employee, at the party, who I can't fr the life of me remember the name of. As she's probably not much over 18, it's probably for the best that I didn't really twig at the time that she might be hitting on me (Of course this may all just be my imagination)

The throttling was due to being on St. John duty with a member who is there to "make up the numbers" Sadly, they're not the only member we have who is both infuriating and lacks common sense and any understanding of First Aid. I knew it would test me being on duty with this articular individual, but I had thought it would take a while to reach my homicidal boiling point

Thirty minutes.

The exact reason is hard to pinpoint, but the phrase "Well, there's nothing we can do for fainting is there?" featured. I despair, but was then asked later if I'd like to take responsibility for divisional training. There's nothig like a challenge, is there?

Anyhoo, I've been asked to write a reference for someone, so I need to find out just how I go about that. Toodle pip!

Monday, July 17, 2006


A sense of permanence

Been a busy week, enough japes for several posts. This week I have been mostly, in no particular order:
But most importantly for me:
So, I'm no longer classed as temporary, although this does technically mean I'm on probation again, after coming off it 1 month into my 3-month contract, which is a bit of a bind.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need sleep, I was at my desk this morning at a time I'm more accustomed to associating with the eating of breakfast and thinking about which train I'll get in half an hour or so. I am now veh tired.
Universal truth #13654.22: Evryone loves a theremin:

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


BBC: British Bleedinobvious Corporation

Checking the weather on the BBC's site, I discovered that my local weather will be "Warm in the Sunshine"
Thanks for that. Really helped.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006


I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts*

Ah, alcohol, cause of and solution to all life's problems.
On Friday night I ended up in an absolute dive in King's Cross, lured in by the sound of cheesy music and the promise of a late license. I'd stopped drinking by this point, for my own safety ad dignity not to mention health (Sambuca doesn't like me and I'm not fond of it either. The feeling is mutual, ad one shot is enough to remind both of us why we normally avoid each other)
Anyway, I left after one soft drink to discover how few & far between trains are in the very early morning. An hour and 10 minutes at Euston waiting for the lone train showing on the departures board is not something I'm in a hurry to do again.
Anyway, got home safely without any detours up the Silverlink County line, and went to bed by 3am.
Just after 5pm on Saturday, a text arrived at my mobile telephony apparatus

"David, surpisingly ur a good dancer"

Why surprsingly? I forwarded it to a friend who is only too aware of my mastery of the dancefloor, though not until i'd forwarded it back to the sender, causing confusion and slight embarassment on my part.
Still, the dancing and the texts haven't been mentioned so far this week, though the matter of my destination being written on my forehead was a tale the rest of the office was regaled with.
Should the staff barbecue this week be a stage for bringing my 'surprisingly good' dancing to a wider audience? Comments please.

*Title maybe the product of a lack of inspiration. Post does not contain coconuts.

Sunday, July 02, 2006


Tempting fate

Turns out you can speak too soon. For up to 5,000 runners/walkers we had 10 casualties including one sent to hospital - and that doesn't include plasters given for blisters without paperwork (shhh, don't tell anyone)
I don't think the heat exactly helped us, I know it wasn't particularly fun bouncing through the park in a landrover at speed, but running 5k must have been awful, and not a particularly good idea if you didn't do much training (looking at some of the ladies, I think this may have been their first 5k attempt)
Bad karma goes to the water supplier who pulled out the day before, and so runners finishing the race in 31C heat only had a small carton of juice instead of the water they needed.
Weirdly, I'm now considering doing about 5k round the park later today, though I'm planning on waiting until the heat has subsided somewhat.
Woo homebrew HTML coding! Check my bad self!

Saturday, July 01, 2006



I went shopping on Thursday evening for trousers. Really, this shouldn't have been depressing, but it was. Why? Trousers for a funeral perhaps? No, the simple reason this shopping trip got me down was the fact that I could not find a pair that fitted.
I'm not the tallest person ever, 5'7" if you're being kind, 5'6.75" if you're using a tape measure. I'm also lucky enough to not be carrying much in the way of excess baggage, coming in with a svelte 28" waist. However the high street stores consider me to be a freak and simply don't make trousers my size.
A quick check of Wikipedia reveals that at 4'10" you are considered a dwarf, so I'm some way off that. Maybe it would be easier if I was. If I was slightly fatter and a 30" waist fitted me, I could buy trousers with short legs. Regular 31" legs? Then you can have a skinny 28" waist sir. But skinny and short? nope, no demand.
If you are exceedingly tall or grossly fat then there are specialist outfits to provide you with the tents you require to cover your nakedness. Hell, even regular stores always have some XL and XXL sizes in stock. Small garments are made in small quantities, and XS is almost unheard of in men's clothing.
Women of short stature have it very easy. Stores create special 'petite' ranges for them, which fit and look good - they've recognised a market segment and want to exploit it. Great - I'm all in favour of women under 5'6 looking fine, but that's another story...
The clothing indutry seems to be in denial about the existence of des hommes petits. If I was sufficiently wound up I'd probably set up a store specialising in smaller men's sizes. But I'm not, and until I am I'll just have to carry on:
Whew, glad I got that off my chest. I can now go wear my oversized St. John uniform tomorrow with a slightly less p***ed-off expression on my face.

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