Thursday, October 12, 2006

 

Ad break

The scene: An ad agency somewhere in central London. A number of "creatives" with spiky hair and T-shirts with exciting designs sit round a large oddly shaped table. Outside the office secretarial staff are trying to look busy and effortlessly cool whilst using brilliant white Apple computers (because everyone knows Apple computers are cool)
THE MANAGER walks in wearing a grey suit and slightly less spiky hair He likes shouting and is slightly deaf...

Manager: OK, here's the brief. It's a new housing development in Essex, and the fact that it's in Essex is it's unique selling point, the raison d'etre. We're trying to sell it to London workers. Give me ideas people. DAN!?
Dan: We could angle it to people from Essex?
Manager: BRILLIANT! Dan, Dan the ideas man. CRAIG!?
Craig: Yeah, uh, the Essex disapora. They want to get back to their roots, y' know
Manager: So they're proud of being from Essex?
Dan: Yes...
Manager: So... MIKE!? The name, the name, what's the name of the game?
Mike: We could call it... The Pride of Essex
Manager: [thumping table] FAN-BLOODY-TASTIC! Loving your work!
Craig: These people are Essex
Manager: YES! DAN! Hit me with a headline!
Dan: So our headline is...
[pause, hushed silence]
Dan: Are You Essex?
Manager: YESSSSS! Oh wow. This is so good I've just soiled myself. BUT IT DOESN'T MATTER! Now the image. They're booking a full-page ad, so this had better be top-notch stuff. We need an image which epitomises Essex, AGREED!?
Mike: Sure
Manager: The new Essex
Dan: Right
Manager: The fresh, modern Essex which has cast off all the old hackneyed sterotype baggage
Craig: I've got an idea... it's fresh, new, and reduces Essex to one single image.
Manager: I knew you'd come through Craig, you're always my image guy I can count on. Anyone can do concepts and headlines like these two idiots, but you're special. Just go for it. I'm going to go change my underwear.

So there you have it. The essence of Essex is a blue-eyed [bottle] blonde on a sofa with a predilection for lip-gloss
Ad spotted in thelondonpaper

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