Saturday, July 01, 2006



I went shopping on Thursday evening for trousers. Really, this shouldn't have been depressing, but it was. Why? Trousers for a funeral perhaps? No, the simple reason this shopping trip got me down was the fact that I could not find a pair that fitted.
I'm not the tallest person ever, 5'7" if you're being kind, 5'6.75" if you're using a tape measure. I'm also lucky enough to not be carrying much in the way of excess baggage, coming in with a svelte 28" waist. However the high street stores consider me to be a freak and simply don't make trousers my size.
A quick check of Wikipedia reveals that at 4'10" you are considered a dwarf, so I'm some way off that. Maybe it would be easier if I was. If I was slightly fatter and a 30" waist fitted me, I could buy trousers with short legs. Regular 31" legs? Then you can have a skinny 28" waist sir. But skinny and short? nope, no demand.
If you are exceedingly tall or grossly fat then there are specialist outfits to provide you with the tents you require to cover your nakedness. Hell, even regular stores always have some XL and XXL sizes in stock. Small garments are made in small quantities, and XS is almost unheard of in men's clothing.
Women of short stature have it very easy. Stores create special 'petite' ranges for them, which fit and look good - they've recognised a market segment and want to exploit it. Great - I'm all in favour of women under 5'6 looking fine, but that's another story...
The clothing indutry seems to be in denial about the existence of des hommes petits. If I was sufficiently wound up I'd probably set up a store specialising in smaller men's sizes. But I'm not, and until I am I'll just have to carry on:
Whew, glad I got that off my chest. I can now go wear my oversized St. John uniform tomorrow with a slightly less p***ed-off expression on my face.

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