Saturday, April 01, 2006

 

Looking for loving... or looking for regular employment?

Not exactly regular posting, but it's still a shorter gap between postings than before.
Life goes on in much the same way. Looking for jobs, looking for love, very similar process in the internet age:
  1. Select the website you think will bring the best results, and will have the kind of thing you're looking for. To hedge your bets, you probably want to sign up with more than one.
  2. Register with the site(s) and set up a profile detailing your key attractive attributes which might make someone interested in you. Any unpleasant habits, or anything dodgy in your past is probably best left out at this stage - they'll find out about it once they get to know you, or alternatively, they need never know...
  3. Having described yourself, describe what you are ideally looking for. This particular combination of attributes is unlikely to exist anywhere, but you can compromise, and beggars can't be choosers - there must be a reason you've been driven to these sites
  4. Having done this and uploaded files as appropriate, have a scout around the site to see what's available. Some of the options on offer may seem attractive at first, but on closer inspection they may have fatal flaws that render them unsuitable
  5. Construct a search for what you're looking for. Usually this will throw up no results on the first attempt. Lower your expectations until finally some options start to appear.
  6. Periodically, as new opportunities arise on the site, you will be sent an email when the magic thinking of the computers decides you are compatible. Quite often the computer will get it wrong, but at least they're trying.
  7. Whilst searching in cyberspace, don't give up on more conventional methods. Keep an eye out for opportunities wherever you go, you never know, you might be lucky.
  8. If you like the look of a prospect, you can contact them, and now the stress begins. If they like the look of you, they'll arrange to set up a meeting where you will have to explain why you are the ideal candidate for the position on offer. This may not be successful - they'll probably be considering other people as well as you. Don't let this get you down, just keep on looking for the next potential opportunity.
  9. If your meeting goes well, you may get a follow-up contact, and they may wish for you to get involved with them on a regular basis. Consider this a success, and unless you know of a better offer, you should probably take it up.
  10. Remember it is generally considered good manners from this point forward not to go looking elsewhere for opportunities, particularly when you are actually with the one you are currently engaged with. If you're particularly attractive, you may find that others come looking for you, and try to charm you away from your current position. Be certain that their offer really is a great improvement over your current situation, as you usually can't go back once you do decide to take up their offer
  11. Some of the joy may go out of the relationship, this is known as 'the end of the honeymoon', and is quite normal
  12. From hereon, things can go one of two ways.
Postscript:
If you break the generally accepted terms of your position, you will usually be swiftly relieved of your responsibilities. The divorce rate is higher than it's ever been, and very few people stay in a job for over 10 years as they used to.

[Currently I'm stuck at stage 7.]

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