Friday, February 04, 2005

 

Looking good in rubber

Just saw this on the campus news service:

Return of Surplus Elastic Bands

Do you have surplus stocks of elastic bands?

If so, then please feel free to return them back to the Mailroom for recycling.

Many thanks for your help.

Their major concern is rubber band usage. Yes, must look after the pennies. Yet leaving a couple of hundred PCs on overnight (completely inactive) is not a priority, despite the fact that they spent £2m on utilities last year. Puts it all in perspective.

 

Baked beans

Once again, Comic Relief is approaching, an evening of sub-standard 'comedy' telly, and an unincredible musical concoction which will somehow convince everyone to part with their cash to the tune of millions.
Now, don't get me wrong, i think charities are fantastic, anbd comic relief does do some really good stuff, both here and in Africa. But if you really want to feed the world, wouldn't it make more sense to send food, rather than immersing yourself in it?
If you really feel the need to do a sponsored-sitting-in-a-bath-of-beans event, please think of the starving children in Africa. When you finally finish scraping beans out of every nook & cranny of your person, please gather them up and send them to Africa.
Waste not want not.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

 

The mystery of poisonous stuff

At what point did some enterprising Japanese person decide that eating fish containing exceedingly poisonous nerve toxins was a good idea?
It must have been a quite challenging process of trial and error to discover the exact method by which the poisonous parts could be extracted.
Either they were really hungry, or the fish must taste pretty damn good.

"Hey guys, check this fish out"
"Let's eat it"
*Cooking ensues*
"Mmm, looks great"
*Coughing, painful death etc.*
"Errr, what now?"
"Let's try and figure out which bit killed him"
"But we just watched Kenji die a painful death from eating your fish"
"Yeah man, but I swear his last words were 'Mmm, tasty'"
"Are you sure, 'cos with the foaming at the mouth and the death spasms, I found it quite hard to make any words out. Could his last words have been 'Aaaargh, the pain!' ?"
"Maybe, but before that, he did seem to be licking his lips"

Strange.
On the panda note, I'm seriously considering writing to the WWF, to suggest that world panda numbers could be assisted with the judicious application of alcohol.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

 

One week later - computer woes

Haven't touched this for a week.
My computer has decided that during the final phase of my course would be an excellent time to die. Much buzzing was emanating from the box, and all upon the screen there was no movement, and then darkness. Bugger.
Hence I am to be found in the bowels of the library on a slightly grubby campus PC (well, they're all quite well used) Might actually get some work done, which would be a plus.

Probably heading out again tonight, although I shall be attempting to limit my caffeine intake, if not my alcohol consumption. The comedown last week was not nice. Alert at 9am, palpitations @ 3pm, sudden loss of all caffeine from body at 4pm, resulting in extreme exhaustion. Fun.

I have been wondering what posesses people to eat poisonous stuff. Bear with me.

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