Wednesday, January 26, 2005

 

Not only but also

Just remembered, had a mug of coffee before bed too.
Have decided that a cup of normal tea might actually give me a heart attack.
Redbush is the answer

 

Caffeine

I've never dabbled in illegal substances, but right now Im feeling just a leetle bit hyper. I had an unknown quantity of VK's last night, got to bed some time after 4, and woke up for a phone call just before 9am.
I am now buzzing and not looking forward to the comedown. But do I consume more caffeine to stay awake and stave off the effects of lacking sleep, or do I abstain from all stimulants for the next week to avoid gving myself a heart attack?
Ah, decisions, decisions...

Monday, January 24, 2005

 

Pandas!

I believe I may have solved the problem of panda reproduction, and a method for averting their species' extinction.
Quite clearly, the reason they aren't making sweet panda love when they're shipped round the world for breeding programmes is they're too picky.
How can we solve this?

Alcohol.

Yes, if we get all the pandas pissed up on some kind of bamboo-based white cider, they'll lose their inhibitions, and start going at it like big black and white bunnies. With their beer goggles on, the guy pandas will no longer turn their noses up at carefully selected lady pandas presented to them for their carnal pleasure, as they hold out for 'the one', and instead will hop on. Likewise, the female bears will be transformed from shy, unfriendly individuals looking for an ugly friend to put between them and the male panda trying to get into their knickers, into big furry slags, anyone's for a bamboo kebab.

Problem solved, I thank you. Next problem please!

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

 

In the beginning...

Why am I starting a blog? Who cares?
Who knows, someone might happen across it and read it. Maybe they will go away feeling their life is fulfilled, maybe they will go away despairing for the future of mankind. I don't mind either way.
I can't offer people tales of london call girls (http://belledejour-uk.blogspot.com) , or news of the latest gadgets (gizmodo.com)
All I can offer is an insight into my not-particularly-exciting life, as i attempt to figure out'what it all means', and look for love & employment (both of which I believe I should seek out in the near future)
This is probbaly first & foremost a resource for me, in the future, to see the strange ideas, hopes & dreams my 21-year-old self had.
Oh well...

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